Keep it in the closet...

This trip that I am currently on in NY has brought me so much happiness and distress at the same time.

Point blank, yes, I came here to see my boyfriend and up to today I have seen him everyday except Sunday (no religious connection for this, I was just too tired). We spent his birthday together (8/1/11) and had a great day. Every time I think about him or see him I just smile so much.

The distress comes from what I left behind, my family. I think I disappointed all of them so much, my 2 sisters along with mother and father. I already told you guys what happened when I mentioned NY to my mother and how she went off and sent my father after me. Well, I never gave them the full details of my trip, what day I was leaving, what time, or when I was even coming back. I figured why go through all of that again so I just kept it to myself while leaving them in the dark.

The night I left, I said bye to my mother and she asked where I was going, I replied to my sister's place because I was getting a ride to the airport in the morning. She looked at me with disdain as if her face said "you're going to get what's coming for you." Went to my father and told him goodbye and asked where I was going, I told him and he shrugged his shoulders, I turned away with my head hung low.

Since I've been here they have not accepted my house calls so I gave up. I spoke to my younger sister about it and I feel as though she has taken their side, actually there are no sides to take in the matter, I went about all of this wrong. So how can I possibly expect anyone to side with me when I'm in the wrong... I can't.

How did I disappoint my older sister? By when I asked her to send me my medication. As a person who takes medication you need to be sure you have all your meds for traveling. By the time I called in my refills I knew it was too late but hoped it would make it the day before I left.

I see I am the type of person who does not think things through and just acts, I don't think of the the after I think about right now, I don't think about others, I only think about myself.

Keep it in the closet...why is it that your friends will know all the minute details but your family is the last to know? The people who live with you, know your ways and have supported and put up with you for years are now treated as strangers.

No matter how old I get I still need to grow up.