I've come to a point where I feel like I am so sick and tired of my family, I never threw my age out there when upset but now it's too much!!! I am twenty-freaking-seven years old!!!! I know I don't go about certain situations properly but gosh, leave me alone!!!!
Why do I have to be questioned about my every move? Who cares if I went to a friend's house? I came back home right? If I say stop treating me like a little kid, I'm going to hear stop acting like one. I just can't anymore here.....
I want to be out of this house so bad, why do I feel like this? As I am typing this I feel like crying because I mentally can't deal with these people anymore. Yes, "these people" are people who love me and care for me, this I know, but oh my gosh, please just go away.
I would love to be able to live on my own, it would be a dream come true for me, to be able to have my money right, my money issues together, a great paying job, help them from afar, and visit them when I felt like it.
Think my whole family sees me as a child, am I the youngest you may ask. No I am not. I just think so many things would be better if I was gone. You know those movies or TV shows that say "I wish I was never born?" Then take you out of yourself to see how life would be if you weren't around and you get to see how bad off people were without you. I wish I could see how life would be without me, not that I wasn't born, but that I was on my own.
This is a growing frustration for me and I feel as though it is only getting worse, my only escape is to spend a night or two at my sister's place for a bit of relief. Right now, I need more than relief I need a permanent fix, besides my bills, my family is my BIGGEST stress factor and it shouldn't even be this way.
My family should be the ones I run to, not feel like running away from, because that's how I feel in this house, like running away. I don't know how much more I can take of this and I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be here anymore...... I know as much as I am tired of them they are tired of me as well, I know that.
I'm scolded about every aspect of my life and I just can't take it anymore......
I just can't........
I don't want to be here anymore.....
Let me be away long enough to miss them and want to come back, right now I just feel like being so far away.....
Father God, I ask you to help me not feel this way because I feel like it is wrong, the #1 group of people that have been with me through my sickness and during good and bad times I can no longer stand anymore. I hate coming home, I hate being here, I jump at the chance of going out, please Lord help me before something terrible happens to me. Please God I lay these burdens with you asking for your help and guidance because I am so lost right now. In your precious Son's Jesus' name
-Amen
