Be my guest...

I'm back in the hospital for my second treatment, actually found out today I'm receiving "chemo." There is such a stigma that comes with that word and no, chemo doesn't only apply to cancer patients. Today it took over an hour to find a vein in my either of my arms and was stuck 4 times with needles. Sometimes I'm so numb to these things, they try to relax you by saying "take a deep breath in and let it go." I just look at them straight in the face or directly where they are sticking the needle, I've been doing this since 14, but it doesn't mean that sometimes on a rare occasion I don't feel pain, today I felt it.=( They used a baby needle on me as usual because my veins are so tiny and scarred up from over the years of endless poking. The nurse asked me to keep drinking for awhile to try to make my veins plump, also warm compress was added (not quite sure the significance of this). When they finally found a vein the nurse said that my blood was dark and further explained that it means I'm dehydrated. I need to help them help me by drinking plenty of fluids the previous day of getting anything done that has to do with my veins.

Today I am here alone, my parents had to work today, my older sis had things to do and my younger sis has finals today (she doesn't like hospitals anyway.) Yes, I know "you came in this world alone and you leave alone," but in that brief time in between I like to be with people. I'm telling you, if I didn't have my laptop I don't know what I would do with myself, they do have TVs here so I guess that could help.

I think I need to start testing my friends to see who is really there for me, I should have tried to ask someone to come with me if they could. It's not them it's me really, being afraid to ask. People forget that you are sick when you "look" well and healthy, sometimes I want to forget but I can't, I have reminders everyday of what I have to deal with. Well I'll be back here again in 2 weeks so I shall see about that!

I guess I'm done, thought I had more to say.

Teeny tiny needle for a teeny tiny arm